Moving On part 2

I found this post sitting in my drafts, and decided to post it.

It's always unusual running into people you used to be friends with. It never matters why the friendship crumbled or why you fell out of touch, it still results in the same sort of awkward pause at the beginning. And although it makes for an extremely awkward time, or even something that drudges up bad memories, there's always a sense of relief to know that you finally had a chance to say what you need to say and end on good terms. Especially when it happens when you least expect it.

I had the opportunity to see an old friend of mine recently. Our friendship ended in lies and backstabbing, and ultimately bad memories and wondering what was really true and good in the friendship and what was fake. It's one of those things where you'd rather hear straight from the person how they feel about you instead of hearing it from their best friend's mother's sister's dog's brother's aunt.

The conversation didn't start off too well, and I was a little apprehensive to see her again. We hadn't heard from each other since the night we ended our friendship. Part of me is glad that it took so long because there were a lot of things I was ultimately hurt about. I finally got to say what I've needed to say for this past year. What I have now is a sense of closure, and the pleasure of knowing that the things I needed to say were said. Being able to stick up for myself was also a nice change of pace.

In any case, now I feel I can move on the situation and finally forget about what it would be like seeing this particular "friend" again. I know that if we do see each other again, we will both be mature about it and make nice, though I know that it would never move past acquaintances again.

My favorite time of year...

I think fall is one of my favorite times of year. The weather starts to be cooler, the leaves turn pretty colors, and for the most part, we get more cloudy blue skies than gray and rainy ones. Thankfully, this past summer wasn't very hot this year. Unfortunately, along with the change in weather started new allergies -- woohoo!

Along with the weather changing, my favorite part of the fall is the fact that many of my favorite television shows are returning with new episodes. Heroes, Ugly Betty, and Gossip Girl are my personal favorites. It's almost like running into a friend and catching up. And it's nice having TiVO be put to good use again. Unfortunately for me, however, my schoolwork and real work seems to be putting a dent into that social calendar, intruding into the small amount of TV time I already have...

At the risk of sounding like a huge nerd, I'm signing this off now. (though it may already be too late).

Moving On

I think it's time to change this a little bit. The last few posts have been a little depressing, especially now that I read them again. While it's good to remember certain memories for the good they may have contained at the time, my life isn't all about the down sides. There's ups and downs to everything and life is one crazy roller coaster ride.

Since the last post, things have been looking up. I got the apology I deserved and while things aren't fully back to normal yet, I am trying to be friends with the guy. I don't know if he truly deserves it or not, I don't know if I believe he wants to be friends or not, but I do like talking to him. I hate that I can't hate them, but holding grudges has never been my thing. I think I finally got closure out of the situation, and closure tends to bring me the ability to appreciate the things I've learned out of a bad situation. (this is where my being over-analytical comes into play)

I'm a lot tougher than I thought I was, I thought losing him would mean the end of my world, but no guy is worth feeling like that. I'm tough in that I can bounce back fairly quickly, just because things seem so wrong one day doesn't mean they won't be fine soon. And everything happens for a reason. I truly believe that people come into your life to teach you something, whether it be the good, the bad, or the ugly.

I am also a better person than most give me credit for. I know for a fact that there quite a few people who wouldn't forgive someone for lying as much as he had, but I do. I believe that people do deserve a second chance. If they blow it the second time, hey that's their call. But it is definitely nice to hear I'm a good person every now and again because I do try to be. And even if I'm wrong sometimes, I will try to fix it. I can be stubborn and bull-headed, but eventually I figure out what I want and what's right. Most of all, I want to change the world by making one person's day that much better. Seeing other people happy makes me happy.

Anyway, for now I'm just appreciating my life for what it is. My friends mean the world to me, as I found out Saturday they can help take me from the shittiest mood to being able to have the kind of laugh that makes you cry. I am in school and finally loving it, I like my classes and I'm prepared to take on the world it seems. I like my jobs, and I want to continue to improve and do the best I can. The tough times seem to bring out the best in me, I guess.

I don't know if any of that makes sense.. Comments?