hindsight

I don't know even where to begin.

I found out a bunch of things from the past two months have been lies. It's great finally knowing where I really stood but it also is a bit more painful than I wish it were. I put a lot of myself into this thinking who I was talking to was really worth my time and instead of getting somebody trustworthy, I ended up being led on. It would have been so much easier to know about this stuff 2 months ago.

You acted like you genuinely cared, like you liked me a lot and wanted to meet me. But how can you care when all that time you were just acting like you did? And with how many lies you said. You called me babe, sent sweet messages, and treated it like we were really seriously talking. It's so ridiculous to think that in that time, you were giving someone else the same bullshit. All that time, you were telling me how much you thought one of my best friends didn't like you, and perhaps had I listened to him in the first place, I would have seen the side he saw. To top it all off, you were the one who acted like I had nothing to worry about when you told me you were friends with her. And now, after all of this, you still want to be friends. I wish it were that simple, to package up any remaining feelings I did have and stuff them away to forgive you this quickly. Real friendship takes time and a whole lot of trust. I don't know how I could fully trust you again and how long that would take. And it would mean you would have to put effort into it that I'm not sure you care enough to give.

I don't even know how to begin describing how I feel about this whole thing. Betrayed, hurt, pissed off... I just wish I could turn back time to 2 months ago and realize what he was doing. But I guess hindsight really is 20/20.